On my last Thursday as a childless woman...

...I haven't done much, so far. I don't really plan on doing anything later, either. I just haven't felt good today. I don't feel ill; nothing hurts. I just feel...blah. I have a slight case of indigestion. I don't have any energy or motivation at all. That third-trimester nesting instinct they talk about must be a myth--I never experienced it, and I don't expect it to kick in between now and Monday.

I'll just try to kick back and enjoy tonight's television shows (Thursdays are a big TV night around here) and hope that I feel better tomorrow.

Week 38: Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Weight: 155 pounds

Symptoms: back pain, hip pain, edema (feet, ankles, and calves), frequent urination, heartburn/acid reflux, cravings, extreme fatigue, insomnia, shortness of breath, intense hunger

Contractions: intermittent Braxton Hicks, nothing extremely painful or regular

Mood: hopeful

On my last Wednesday as a childless woman, I went to get my nails done. I also got a flu shot, as my doctor suggested. When I got home, I took a nap. Tonight, Joey and I will probably have take-out for dinner and watch television. Yes, we're boring like that.

I've been trying to find a balance between taking it easy and getting things done. I figure that by the time Monday afternoon gets here, I will have gotten most of the major items crossed off my all-important to-do list. But I don't know that I'll ever be 100% ready. I mean, it's not every day that someone gets ready to meet his or her child for the first time!

On my last Tuesday as a childless woman...

...I went to my last prenatal doctor's appointment. Joey was with me. It was determined that my cervix is still "unfavorable." In other words, it is not dilated or effaced at all. Therefore, my induction plan is changing a bit. I will now go in to the hospital on Monday, October 4, at 5:00 pm to begin receiving Cervidil, which will hopefully ripen my cervix. Then the actual induction will begin the next morning, October 5, around 7:00.

Otherwise, today and this evening will be low key. I'll take a nap in a few minutes, and then Joey and I will eat dinner and probably watch television.

Torin is in a head-down position, which is good news, but I still fear the need for c-section, because many inductions statistically end this way. I will try not to let this fear overshadow these next few days.

On my last Monday as a childless woman...

...What will I do?

I'll probably wash Torin's Halloween costume (he's going to be Spider-Man), organize the nursery a bit more, and take a nap.

When Joey gets home from work, we'll probably have a quiet dinner at home (take-out) and watch a new episode of House, M.D. Then we might strike up the ole Roku and watch some episodes of Intervention and Hoarders from Netflix.

These are my attempts to remain calm. A week from now, I'll be someone's mommy. There's so much to stress out over, but I must refuse to let it get to me. There's more to be thankful for, to be sure!

It's a date!

I had my weekly doctor's visit today, complete with another successful, reactive non-stress test. Also noteworthy is the fact that my induction date has been set...

Monday, October 4!

Unless something happens in the meantime, Joey and I will most likely be parents on 10-4-10. Sounds cool, doesn't it? 10-4-10.

Mom noms: Sonic ice

I can't get enough of it! I thought this craving might be related to pica, but my lab results are normal. So...I don't have pica; I just have an odd craving.

Week 37: Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Weight: 151 pounds

Symptoms: insomnia, acid reflux/heartburn, frequent urination, back pain, edema (ankles, feet, and calves), extreme fatigue, some food aversions, pica

Mood: nervous, stressed out

Reading: The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins

I am officially at full term today! Although I technically still have three weeks until my due date, Torin's lungs are likely ready for the outside world at this point. And since we now know I probably won't make it to my due date, all I can do is hope that he is, in fact, ready.

I don't know if it's nerves or my squished stomach or both, but I am not eating a lot these days. I can eat frequent small meals but nothing heavy. And after I eat, my body uses up every last bit of energy it has to process the food for me and Torin, so I am left feeling winded and exhausted, unable to even walk at times.

Monday, September 20, was my last day at work. Since then, I haven't gotten a great deal accomplished at home, mainly because of my extreme exhaustion. There are still so many items left on my to-do list. I am stressing about trying to complete them all. Of course, I've had a couple of offers for help, but I am so stubborn, I can seem to accept these offers. I just knew I should have taken others' advice and tried to do as much preparation as I could while was still in my blissful second trimester!

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. We're supposed to find out at that time what position Torin is in, and hopefully we'll know more about specifically when my labor will be induced. We have so many unanswered questions right now. I hope to resolve most of them tomorrow.

Like a madwoman.

That's how I've been rushing around the past few days. I went to pack my hospital bag and realized my one and only piece of luggage was in horrible shape, so Joey and I had to buy new bags today. Then I had to find some coming-home outfits for Torin, and since we don't know how big or little he will be, I ended up buying one outfit each in sizes preemie, newborn, and 0-3 months. I then began an as-of-yet fruitless search for a diaper bag I can tolerate. We already have one for Joey, but since my diaper bag will essentially replace my purse, I need to be picky about what I buy.

And then there's all of the cleaning I've been doing. I've washed Torin's toys, grooming and medical equipment, bedding, and clothing. I've stocked the diaper caddy and set up the diaper-changing station in my bedroom. I've purchased a couple of nursing bras. And yet I still have so much left to do!

At least tomorrow is (tentatively) my last day at work before I officially go on maternity leave, so hopefully my to-do list will be tended to more thoroughly in the coming days.

Catch of the day.

I got a little teary eyed in the store today when I picked up this little guy, the Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Soothe & Glow Seahorse. He lights up and plays lullabies. I figure I'll sleep with him in my own bed until Torin gets here--that way, Torin can (hopefully) be soothed by his Mommy's smell when he cuddles with it.

I guess it's my thinking like a mommy that gets me emotional. I didn't really ever think I could be a maternal woman, but now I'm realizing there's a whole new side to me with which I have never been acquainted. And I'm guessing that I truly have no idea how much more I'll be changing over the next couple of weeks.

Week 36: Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Weight: 155 pounds

Symptoms: insomnia, acid reflux/heartburn, frequent urination, rib pain, back pain, edema (ankles, feet, and calves), extreme fatigue, some food aversions, pica

Mood: nervous, restless

Watching: Modern Family, season one

Reading: What to Expect and Dr. Seuss

I've pre-ordered a better phone, partly so that I can take better photos. I might not get it in time for Torin's birthday, but I can at least take comfort in knowing that my days of taking bad pictures like this one are coming to an end.

I'm still reeling from yesterday's news. I am trying to convince my boss that my last day at work should be this coming Friday. However, I have a feeling it will be more like Wednesday or Thursday of next week.

Within the past week or so, a new and bizarre pregnancy symptom has appeared: pica. Pica is a condition in which a person craves non-food items such as ice, dirt, chalk, clay, laundry detergent, or various other such substances. For me, the craving is ice and laundry detergent (the powder kind, not the liquid). I've been satiating the ice craving with trips to Sonic (they have the best ice ever), but of course, I am not indulging in laundry detergent. My doctor is having tests run on my blood work to determine whether I an anemic, which can cause pica. It's not a dangerous condition, but I do need to make sure that Torin and I are well nourished.

Now, it's time for me to get back to The To-Do List of All To-Do Lists...

Wait...What?!

I was feeling rather proud of the progress Joey and I had made as of the end of this past weekend, especially considering how we're both procrastinators extraordinaire. We got the gliding rocker and ottoman set up in the nursery and I plugged away on a bit more organization. We did some research on digital camcorders, and I pre-ordered a fabulous cell phone over which I've been drooling for months (hey, a mom-to-be needs a reliable phone with a great camera on it, right?).

It was at today's regular doctor's appointment that the proverbial bomb was dropped on me: Because of my hypertension, I will most likely be induced at week 38. Yeah, that's two weeks from now.

Not that my health or Torin's health is any clear and present danger at the moment. In fact, I did a non-stress test today that the doctor deemed "reactive," or normal. My blood pressure is fine. My weight gain is well within a healthy range. But because of my history, well, Torin's history on this planet could very well begin this month instead of next.

I rushed home today and made a giant to-do list for Joey and I tackle. There's a little person who's going to be coming out of me soon--there's lots of cleaning and organizing and shopping left to do.

So I'm panicking, right? Well, I'm also sort of saddened by this talk of induction. I think most women picture themselves going through a completely "normal," "natural" labor that begins on its own, probably in the middle of the night. They dream of waking up their significant others, whispering, "Honey, it's time." I have certainly had my share of these fantasies. But if that's not to be with us, then I need to hurry up and accept it. In the end, it's the arrival of a healthy baby that I need to focus on.

Baby kick ribs.

No, not baby back ribs. Some of Torin's appendages (I'm not sure which ones) are all up in my rib cage, causing me excruciating pain. My right front rib area, under my breast, feels bruised, if not fractured. The backside of my rib cage often hurts as well. I'll occasionally get pains in my left ribs, but the right ribs are taking the brunt of his kicks/punches.

I've tried everything I've read about online: taking Tylenol (I might as well be eating candy), raising my arms above my head (they fall asleep after a couple of minutes), sitting and standing with good posture (which always ends in me slouching after 2 minutes), and not laying on the side that hurts (when both sides hurt, I can't win). The pain is sometimes so intense that it nauseates me.

I hope that it's at least his feet that are in my ribs rather than his arms. If he's breech, it's time for him to start thinking about turning his life around, head first.

Photo: 35/35/35

Joey gave this picture some special "treatment" because of the milestone.

35/35/35

Weight: 150 pounds

Symptoms: insomnia, acid reflux/heartburn, frequent urination, back and rib pain, edema (ankles, feet, and calves), extreme fatigue, some food aversions, intermittent nausea

Mood: exhausted, hopeful

Reading: What to Expect the First Year by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel, and Arlene Eisenberg

Today I observed a special pregnancy milestone: I've reach exact 35 weeks gestation, I have exactly 35 days left to go, and I am 35 years old. It seems unreal that I've made it this far. Why, wasn't it just a couple of weeks ago that I had food aversions and related nausea?

Well, the food aversions did return a couple of weeks ago, but they're nowhere near as intense as they were in the first trimester. And since I don't have the accompanying sensitivity to smells, they're quite manageable. With this side effect and some intermittent nausea (more so in the morning, causing me to miss a couple of days of work), the third trimester does seem to mirror the first one a little bit, as a friend of mine observed.

It doesn't really seem like my baby bump is getting bigger, but it is. With each passing day, it gets a little more difficult for me to move around. I can tell Torin is getting cramped in there, as he is almost constantly kicking (or punching) me in the ribs. As uncomfortable as I get, I will continue to hope for a healthy full-term baby.

A labor-less Labor Day.

Well, labor as in childbirth, anyway. And thank goodness, right?

Joey and I have both been laboring away this holiday weekend, he cleaning house and I preparing for Torin's arrival. Joey installed the car seat base in our Explorer yesterday, and it was not nearly as big of an ordeal as we had expected. It took him only about five minutes to do it. I practiced putting the seat in the car and removing it. The truth? I'm out of shape, and I can see that it will be quite a challenge for me to lug around that car seat once it has a real live baby in it.

I've done about half of Torin's laundry so far this weekend. Based on an early inventory analysis, it looks like we might need a few more newborn-size outfits; we have plenty in 0-3 months, 3-6 months, and 6-9 months. Also, I need to decide on Torin's coming-home outfit, which is rather difficult when we don't even know how big or small he will be. I suppose I'll choose two, one in newborn size and one in 0-3 months size.

In terms of other preparations, I've got Torin's diaper bag almost fully packed. I'm missing a few essentials, such as hand sanitizer, plastic bags, and some clothes for him. I'm not too thrilled with the diaper bag I chose, as it doesn't have very many storage compartments, and the zippered compartments are rather difficult to get to and use. Rookie parenting mistake: choosing a diaper bag online and not trying out in person before registering for it.

Up next: packing my hospital bag and sterilizing binkies and bottles.

It's all so surreal. We're spending our last official holiday as a childless couple preparing not to be a childless couple. Thinking like parents. Acting like grown-ups. I wouldn't have even guessed it a year ago.

About the third TRY-mester...

I took a sick day today. I woke up feeling nauseated and gagging. I also had a bit of a fever. After a few hours' more sleep, I ended up feeling okay. Joey made banana nut muffins, so I had three of them for lunch--dee-lish.

This third trimester is weird. I can't get a good handle on it. I still enjoy being pregnant at this point, but the aches and pains and sleeplessness are getting me down. I want to relish this time of my life because I'll have a first pregnancy only this once, but these recent symptoms are tough to deal with.

I am still going to try my best not to wish away these final weeks of pregnancy. I want to appreciate every kick I feel, every daydream I have, every glance at my growing belly. Besides, on the organization and preparation front, I still have plenty to do. So here's to hoping for another six weeks of having an "inside" baby!

Week 34: Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Weight: 151 pounds

Symptoms: acid reflux/heartburn, insomnia, very frequent urination, edema (still just the ankles and calves), back and hip pain, extreme exhaustion

Mood: lethargic

Reading: What to Expect the First Year by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel, and Arlene Eisenberg

By now, the Braxton Hicks contractions (fake, practice contractions) have increased a little bit in frequency. However, they don't hurt. They just feel strange. It's like my lower abdomen and groin area tightens up for a few seconds. That's all--for now.

My sleepless nights are definitely getting the best of me. My sleep apnea, which I've had for as long as I can remember, has worsened, which is bad news for eyelids during the day. I'm lucky my boss hasn't caught me dozing off at my desk yet! I get so sleepy when I'm sitting down that I have to occasionally stand up to do my work (try typing on a keyboard while you're standing up--it's not easy!). Another temporary fix is a brief, brisk walk around the perimeter of my office suite. But nothing can adequately keep me awake and alert for long.

My routine doctor's visit went well yesterday. My measurements, urine, and blood work are all just fine. Next time, I have to have a group B strep test and a non-stress test. This means we're getting ever so close to finally meeting our son...Just six short weeks away--or fewer!