Week 21: Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Weight: 138 pounds
Symptoms: fatigue, a few food aversions, itchy abdomen
Mood: blue, depressed

I've had a problem with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager. However, since I got pregnant, I've had nary a depression symptom. Although I was required to stop taking all antidepressants and antianxiety medications 2 months before we tried to conceive, I've felt great--better than I've felt in years. It seems that pregnancy hormones work for me in a way that even the best antidepressants never could.

Until now. For the past couple of days, I've been feeling rather down. I can't pinpoint a specific cause, which scares me, because that means the depression might be returning. Maybe I'm lonely. Maybe I'm ready to meet my dear little boy. Maybe I'm overwhelmed.

Of course I am anxious. I have a lot to be anxious about. But I don't feel like that's what's bothering me. I hope it's just a temporary swing.

Other than that, I feel wonderful physically. Sure, I'm still tired as hell, no matter how many hours of sleep I get each night, but I really do feel fine.

Looking forward to cheerier days ahead...